I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
