If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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