FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
