he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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