These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
