birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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