i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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