I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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