it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
