there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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