Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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