i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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