they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
