Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
