dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
