Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
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