So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
