the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
