I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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