I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
