btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
