and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Dignity is for republicans.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
