another moral hangover. fuck.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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