K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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