omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Randomize