drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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