i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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