So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
