I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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