oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He did a backflip because drugs
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