This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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