I think my fart just growled at me.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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