the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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