508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
