only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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