I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
