i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
