So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
