have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
