Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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