Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
