i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
