Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
