is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
