I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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