i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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