But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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