Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize