I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I think I sprained my soul last night
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesnβt get them female rage will.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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