She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
