She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
