but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize