i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
