He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
