watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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