I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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