I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
