Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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