its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
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