So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
