It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize